We mostly read and hear this only in fairy tales and movies.
Of course there are many who are living a 'happily ever after' life and there are also many who have selected their partners thinking that they will satisfy their needs, have been sorely disappointed.
A marriage is a two way relationship. Both partners must be able to understand each other and put the needs of the other person
first. If one person keeps making all the sacrifices all the time, he/she will soon opt out due to burnout.
Couples must never ever discuss family issues and issues which they have with each other, with friends. It is like lying down and spitting upwards; the spittle will descend back on their own face. When they tell their intimate woes or disappointments to others, they may get the wrong advise from outsiders and that advice may tear them both apart.
To prevent burnout in a marriage, the couple must first and foremost make God the Centre of their lives and the Head of their marriage and family from day one. They must seek God diligently and daily in their lives. They must pray for each other and make all decisions together after praying. They must respect each other's privacy and understand each others mood swings and feelings. They must be quick to listen and slow to judge and speak. They must strive to be good, godly role models to their offsprings. The one thing they must totally avoid is, ridiculing or slighting one another in public or in front of their children. Sarcastic remarks must be avoided. Couples must learn to laugh together and not about the other or at the expense of the other. Genuine, healthy humour adds spice to a couple's life.
What excited a couple three months ago will not excite them today. Human beings are such. They are fun loving creatures. They get bored easily. Beauty will fade and even sex will lose its appeal during middle-age for some. So if one is wise he/she will learn how to gently influence the other and will make a genuine effort to learn how to please his/her spouse in interesting ways. Finding hobbies of common interest is one way to be and do things together.
There will always be ups and downs in a marriage. Whenever one senses heat rising in a relationship he/she will do well to step aside and monitor the situation. A gentle reply will ward off all danger. One must never provoke one's spouse to anger and must never do what displeases or angers him/her. One must also never ever confront one's spouse when he or she is tired or angry. Let things cool off first and discuss important issues over a cup of ice-cream or in a nicer way. A gentle calm tone will always help one to win the heart of his/her spouse.
When everything is fine and rosy and when there is enough money to spend, less problems will arise. It is mostly when couples are facing a financial crisis or some strong disagreement that serious problems will surface. Learning how to handle such situations is very crucial.
If a situation gets hard to handle, it is always wise for a Christian couple to seek counsel from a certified Christian councillor. There are many experienced and certified councillors in the church, who will be more than willing to help a couple facing estrangement. But before things get worse a wise couple will turn to God the Father and ask Him for the infilling of the Holy Spirit in Jesus mighty name. He will give them the wisdom to handle any situation. Jesus said, "Ask anything in My name and My Father in heaven will answer you." With Christ one can be assured of a healthy and happy relationship.
In short, if each partner loves his/her spouse like himself/herself the marriage will last. Unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness are the vital KEYs here
Remember, there is no joy, greater than to 'Grow Old Together' with the man / woman of your youth.
May God bless your marriage abundantly.
Love & Blessings
Mary Augustine
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