Saturday, September 22, 2012

Growing Old Together :)

'And they lived Happily Ever After!'

We mostly read and hear this only in fairy tales and movies.

Of course there are many who are living a 'happily ever after' life and there are also many who have selected their partners thinking that they will satisfy their needs, have been sorely disappointed.

A marriage is a two way relationship. Both partners must be able to understand each other and put the needs of the other person
first. If one person keeps making all the sacrifices all the time, he/she will soon opt out due to burnout.

Couples must never ever discuss family issues and issues which they have with each other, with friends. It is like lying down and spitting upwards; the spittle will descend back on their own face. When they tell their intimate woes or disappointments to others, they may get the wrong advise from outsiders and that advice may tear them both apart.

To prevent burnout in a marriage, the couple must first and foremost make God the Centre of their lives and the Head of their marriage and family from day one. They must seek God diligently and daily in their lives. They must pray for each other and make all decisions together after praying. They must respect each other's privacy and understand each others mood swings and feelings. They must be quick to listen and slow to judge and speak. They must strive to be good, godly role models to their offsprings. The one thing they must totally avoid is, ridiculing or slighting one another in public or in front of their children. Sarcastic remarks must be avoided. Couples must learn to laugh together and not about the other or at the expense of the other. Genuine, healthy humour adds spice to a couple's life.

What excited a couple three months ago will not excite them today. Human beings are such. They are fun loving creatures. They get bored easily. Beauty will fade and even sex will lose its appeal during middle-age for some. So if one is wise he/she will learn how to gently influence the other and will make a genuine effort to learn how to please his/her spouse in interesting ways. Finding hobbies of common interest is one way to be and do things together.

There will always be ups and downs in a marriage. Whenever one senses heat rising in a relationship he/she will do well to step aside and monitor the situation. A gentle reply will ward off all danger. One must never provoke one's spouse to anger and must never do what displeases or angers him/her. One must also never ever confront one's spouse when he or she is tired or angry. Let things cool off first and discuss important issues over a cup of ice-cream or in a nicer way. A gentle calm tone will always help one to win the heart of his/her spouse.

When everything is fine and rosy and when there is enough money to spend, less problems will arise. It is mostly when couples are facing a financial crisis or some strong disagreement that serious problems will surface. Learning how to handle such situations is very crucial.

If a situation gets hard to handle, it is always wise for a Christian couple to seek counsel from a certified Christian councillor. There are many experienced and certified councillors in the church, who will be more than willing to help a couple facing estrangement. But before things get worse a wise couple will turn to God the Father and ask Him for the infilling of the Holy Spirit in Jesus mighty name. He will give them the wisdom to handle any situation. Jesus said, "Ask anything in My name and My Father in heaven will answer you." With Christ one can be assured of a healthy and happy relationship.

In short, if each partner loves his/her spouse like himself/herself the marriage will last. Unconditional love and unconditional forgiveness are the vital KEYs here

Remember, there is no joy, greater than to 'Grow Old Together' with the man / woman of your youth.

May God bless your marriage abundantly.
Love & Blessings
Mary Augustine

Friday, September 21, 2012

On Choosing Well :)

Before someone buys a computer, hand phone or any gadget, he will read up the reviews on it, find out where he can get the best buys and will only buy it if he knows that it would be the best for him and that it would last long.

How much more should one be cautious when selecting a husband or wife. Selecting a partner is easy but selecting the right partner is not easy.

Why do I say selecting a partner is easy? The world as we know it now is in everyone's hands. By that statement, I mean that everything in the world is accessible to everyone through the Internet. So it is easy to meet someone on Facebook and/or the like, and fall in love and get married. This is not uncommon these days.

Getting married is easy but staying married is becoming increasingly tough and challenging these days.

Here are some useful time tested, tips for a long, blissful healthy married life:-

1. Pray asking God to help you in your decision making. He will never refuse you.
2. Same religion is of utmost importance. This will keep the family together.
3. Spend time learning about his/her likes, dislikes, attitudes, lifestyle, character both in public and in private, habits, hobbies, spending habits, saving habits, friends he/she has and is close with, occupation, treatment of parents & siblings, treatment of the elderly, treatment of friends, attitude towards authority, religious beliefs and practises and his/her temperaments. You will need at least 2 years to learn about the person you like. Don't get a rude shock after the union. There are no quick fixes after marriage.
4. Do not get intimate during the getting to know him/her period. If you do, you will either end up marrying him/her because you have no choice OR carry the feelings for that person, the hurts and memories incurred, into your next relationship which will most probably end in a disaster.
4. Seek the advice of couples who are in a contended, healthy, lifelong relationship. They will have golden nuggets to offer you.
5. Never ever take the advice of those who tell you, to try out by living together first. This kind of relationship will mar your future. There are many ways to learn about the person you like other than living together.
6. Do not fall for someone because of one or two aspects you admire in him or her. This is going to be forever, till either one dies. So careful selection is vital here.

Many who have selected their partners thinking that they are the right ones, have been sorely disappointed because of haphazard decision making founded on fleeting passion.

Therefore 'Choose Well' for a life long, healthy and blissful relationship.


Blessings
Mary Augustine







Till death do us apart!

"Till Death Do Us Apart." These words are uttered only once, in a married person's life, unless he or she has been married several times.

Most youth of today, I believe, do not take these words seriously. Today's trend is to, 'touch and go', 'use and throw'. Life for them is, 'A One Big Convenience Store'.

Just as smart phones and other modern gadgets are discarded when not of use, spouses are discarded when they do not meet one's needs. The youth of today silently scream, "You exist for me and not, I for you."

How the world has changed, from an era, when spouses used to compete with each other to shower love and make sacrifices, to the modern era where spouses demand sacrifices from each other.

It saddens my heart to see young couples treat each other like gadgets of convenience and my only prayer is that they would take the words, "Till Death Do Us Apart" seriously.

Mary Augustine





Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Potter's Hand

"Ouch! Don't pinch me," screamed the clay. "Hey what do you think you are doing, spinning me that fast," muttered the clay at the Potter's wheel. "Oh...no! Don't put me in the kiln...I can't bear the heat...," wailed the finished piece of clay, now shaped into a plain looking vase. Then....."Hey, look at me, see how pretty I look...," boasts the shining vase after it emerges out of the kiln and is painted with stunning colours.

Does that remind you of anything at all? Well, many a time we sing, "I give myself to the Potter's Hand," but do we realize the impact of those words? Don't we all wail, scream and shout when we face the many trials in our lives like that piece of clay?

Well, for those of us wanting to live eternally with Jesus in heaven, nothing can make us more beautiful both inside and outside than our Master's Hand. Yes, we must be stripped of ourselves completely before God's glory is reflected in us. It will be painful but He has promised to be with us till the end of time. What more do we need.

The Author of life, shapes our lives with His own hands tenderly and holds us in His love till we are with Him for all eternity. Oh what bliss that will be!

Let us therefore submit to His loving plan for our lives and bask in His tender mercies without complaining.

Blessings
Mary Augustine

Friday, September 7, 2012

Facebook, a fantastic tool - Use it wisely.

Dear Friends,
I wish to say that I enjoy facebook. Its potential to reach hundereds if not millions is just awsome. We can get a person's vibes and at the same time keep connected with all our friends and loved ones Many a time people's posts reveal their inner emotions. Sometimes I send private messages to counsel them. Facebook also helps me keep in touch with long lost relatives and friends.

It is a wonderful tool if well used. It is however sad when I see many youths post things which are to their detriment. It may be viewed as immature but sometimes people are just not aware of the effect of their postings. In addition, some posts can be very hurting. Hopefully a third world war will not ensue out of a facebook posting.

Then there are those "Wolves in Sheep's clothing". Their only aim is to lure innocent people/children. We have read newspaper reports on how young children get lured by these predators. In addition to luring, sadly there is an introduction of wrong values via adverts and statements which entice people to a more promiscuous way of life.

And lastly many a relationship/friendship has been broken by a misunderstood statement. Lives too have been lost as a result of statements which are not thought of.

We can only pray for those people who make hurtring statements or statements to demean themselves, to be more careful. Think before you post. Facebook is not a forum to demean, to hurt and be hurt.

Words always have an effect. If you are hurt, do not shoot back. You cannot get revenge without hurting yourself. It may be that the other person may be in need of help and your added statements may not be of much help. If it gets too bad just remove the person.

It is my prayer that people will use this beautiful tool, Facebook, for the good of people. We owe a duty to educate people and family members.

I wish you all a wonderful day.

Mary Augustine

The impact of WORDS on our lives!

Words, words, words... We learned them when we were babies. We read them and hear them everywhere. But are we aware of the impact words have on our lives?

While careless words spoken have destroyed the lives of many, kind words of encouragement have built up lives and have been instrumental in helping downtrodden ones to succeed.

Words have been used as weapons in articles to defame individuals and again have also been used in articles to bring fame to individuals.

Thus we see the the positive and negative impact of words on our lives. Apart from this, we need to be aware that every word which comes from our own mouths concerning ourselves, shape our future. Scary as it may sound, this is the truth.

Many talk lowly of themselves thinking that it is humility. When someone praises them, instead of thanking them for the compliment, they say, " No I am not so________," and shy away from the compliment. Many like to complain about what they don't have instead of thanking God for the people and things they have. Many speak discouraging words about themselves such as, " I cannot do it; I won't be able to; I will never get it right; it is so difficult; it is impossible; there is no way I can do it." Little do they know that these very words which they speak are beginning to shape their future, the very moment they pass their lips.

The impact of words spoken by one about oneself has greater impact on that individual than words uttered about him/her by others. This is seen in the lives of the great men and women of the past and present.

Henry Ford: While Ford is today known for his innovative assembly line and American-made cars, he wasn't an instant success. In fact, his early businesses failed and left him broke five times before he founded the successful Ford Motor Company.

Soichiro Honda: The billion-dollar business that is Honda began with a series of failures and fortunate turns of luck. Honda was turned down by Toyota Motor Corporation for a job after interviewing for a job as an engineer, leaving him jobless for quite some time. He started making scooters of his own at home, and spurred on by his neighbors, finally started his own business.

Bill Gates: Gates didn't seem like a shoe-in for success after dropping out of Harvard and starting a failed first business with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen called Traf-O-Data. While this early idea didn't work, Gates' later succeeded in creating the global empire that is Microsoft.

Harland David Sanders: Perhaps better known as Colonel Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame, Sanders had a hard time selling his chicken at first. In fact, his famous secret chicken recipe was rejected 1,009 times before a restaurant accepted it.

Walt Disney: Today Disney rakes in billions from merchandise, movies and theme parks around the world, but Walt Disney himself had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn't last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.

Albert Einstein: Most of us take Einstein's name as synonymous with genius, but he didn't always show such promise. Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. It might have taken him a bit longer, but most people would agree that he caught on pretty well in the end, winning the Nobel Prize and changing the face of modern physics.

Charles Darwin: In his early years, Darwin gave up on having a medical career and was often chastised by his father for being lazy and too dreamy. Darwin himself wrote, "I was considered by all my masters and my father, a very ordinary boy, rather below the common standard of intellect." Perhaps they judged too soon, as Darwin today is well-known for his scientific studies.

Isaac Newton: Newton was undoubtedly a genius when it came to math, but he had some failings early on. He never did particularly well in school and when put in charge of running the family farm, he failed miserably, so poorly in fact that an uncle took charge and sent him off to Cambridge where he finally blossomed into the scholar we know today.

Robert Sternberg: This big name in psychology received a C in his first college introductory psychology class with his teacher telling him that, "there was already a famous Sternberg in psychology and it was obvious there would not be another." Ouch! Sternberg showed him, however, graduating from Stanford with exceptional distinction in psychology, summa cum laude, and Phi Beta Kappa and eventually becoming the President of the American Psychological Association. This should inspire students at traditional and accredited online colleges to always strive to succeed, no matter what anyone says along the way.

Thomas Edison: In his early years, teachers told Edison he was "too stupid to learn anything." Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.

Orville and Wilbur Wright: These brothers battled depression and family illness before starting the bicycle shop that would lead them to experimenting with flight. After numerous attempts at creating flying machines, several years of hard work, and tons of failed prototypes, the brothers finally created a plane that could get airborne and stay there.

Winston Churchill: This Nobel Prize-winning, twice-elected Prime Minster of the United Kingdom wasn't always as well regarded as he is today. Churchill struggled in school and failed the sixth grade. After school he faced many years of political failures, as he was defeated in every election for public office until he finally became the Prime Minister at the ripe old age of 62.

Jerry Seinfeld: Just about everybody knows who Seinfeld is, but the first time the young comedian walked on stage at a comedy club, he looked out at the audience, froze and was eventually jeered and booed off of the stage. Seinfeld knew he could do it, so he went back the next night, completed his set to laughter and applause, and the rest is history.

Fred Astaire: In his first screen test, the testing director of MGM noted that Astaire, "Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little." Astaire went on to become an incredibly successful actor, singer and dancer and kept that note in his Beverly Hills home to remind him of where he came from.

Sidney Poitier: After his first audition, Poitier was told by the casting director, "Why don't you stop wasting people's time and go out and become a dishwasher or something?" Poitier vowed to show him that he could make it, going on to win an Oscar and become one of the most well-regarded actors in the business.

Steven Spielberg: While today Spielberg's name is synonymous with big budget, he was rejected from the University of Southern California School of Theater, Film and Television three times. He eventually attended school at another location, only to drop out to become a director before finishing. Thirty-five years after starting his degree, Spielberg returned to school in 2002 to finally complete his work and earn his BA.

Ludwig van Beethoven: In his formative years, young Beethoven was incredibly awkward on the violin and was often so busy working on his own compositions that he neglected to practice. Despite his love of composing, his teachers felt he was hopeless at it and would never succeed with the violin or in composing. Beethoven kept plugging along, however, and composed some of the best-loved symphonies of all time–five of them while he was completely deaf.

Michael Jordan: Most people wouldn't believe that a man often lauded as the best basketball player of all time was actually cut from his high school basketball team. Luckily, Jordan didn't let this setback stop him from playing the game and he has stated, "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot, and I missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

As we see from the lives of the above mentioned famous individuals, they did not bother what others spoke or thought about them. They only cared about succeeding, despite all negative encounters. They told themselves that they could, and proved it.

Therefore let us never forget the impact our own words have on us and let us go forth to make this world a better place for others through our successes

Mary Augustine.